Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 70
ESCAPE Weekly
Extract
Continued from page 7
Then there’s the arrival of Cindy
(Mila Kunis), a sexy con woman who
is working far below her competence
level on the bottling line, but precisely at
her morality level. She understands that
almost any man will believe it when a
desirable woman says she’s attracted to
him. Hey, some babes have a fetish for
schleppers.
Cindy, who is superb at putting two
and two together and putting money
in her pocket, convinces Step to sue the
company. He hires a lawyer famous for
his ads on the benches at bus stops, Joe
Adler (Gene Simmons, no more subtle
than when he was in Kiss). Meanwhile,
Joel recruits a gigolo (Dustin Milligan),
who even in this crowd isn’t the
brightest bulb.
There are some good stretches in
the film, Bateman is persuasive as the
overwhelmed factory owner, and Mila
Walker
Sept. 4 - Sept. 10, 2009 – 17
Kunis brings her role to within shouting
distance of credibility. The funniest
element for me was supplied by Joel’s
neighbor Nathan (David Koechner), a
pest who lurks in the shrubbery to burst
forth with undesired friendliness.
He is a case study of a bore, as once
defined by John D. MacDonald:
“Someone who deprives you of
solitude without providing you with
companionship.” It cannot be easy for
an actor to be as inspired as Koechner
in the timing and facial language of
a man who CANNOT comprehend
urgent conversational signals that he
get lost immediately.
The movie otherwise is sort of
entertaining, but lacks the focus and
comic energy of Judge’s “Office Space”
(1999), and to believe that Suzie would
be attracted to the gigolo requires not
merely the suspension of disbelief, but
its demolition. A comedy need not be
believable. But it needs to seem as if it’s
believable at least to itself.
© 2009 THE EBERT CO.
/ (1.5 x 1 x 1.75) = 22.86. Your “hour”
passes about three times as fast as it should.
And it makes you kinda cranky.
Continued from page 16
Time at age 30
Time at age 55
Well, you are 30 now, so your RA
is up a bit, say 1.25. And, you took the
plunge. You got married and had two
kids, who are now involved in youth sports
and nearly everything else there is to be
involved in. Not only is their BZ higher
than yours was, back in the day, but yours
is jumpin’ now, as well. With a full day of
work and a commute, let’s say it’s 1.5. But,
mostly, your INT is good. We’ll give that
a 1.25. Here’s how that breaks down: DH
= 60 / (1.5 x 1.25 x 1.25) = 25.60. Your
“hour” is feeling like less than a half-hour
— especially when it’s an hour of sleep.
RA is a killer now. It’s up to 2.5. BZ
has slowed somewhat, if only because
you don’t have it in you to go that fast
anymore. It’s about a 1.2. You’ve had your
divorce and come to terms with life. You’ve
stopped whining and started enjoying the
moment. So, your INT is good, at 1.3.
DH = 60 / (1.2 x 1.3 x 2.5) = 15.38. An
hour feels like a quarter-hour now. Ticktock. Was that the Grim Reaper’s shadow
that passed by the window?
Time at age 45
Your RA is movin’ on up. Let’s give it
a 1.75. You are just as busy as at age 30, so
your BZ stays at 1.5. However, you have
lost a bit of your Mojo, your back hurts,
and many things have lost their luster.
Your INT is back down to 1. DH = 60
Time at age 65
RA continues to dominate, at 3.5. BZ
is back up because of the grandchildren, at
1.5. INT is mellowing, at 1 again. DH =
60 / (1.5 x 1 x 3.5) = 11.43. Your hour feels
almost like one-sixth of an hour and you’re
holding on by your fingernails.
Time at age 75
Your BZ is slowing, to 0.75. Your INT
AP Photo/Miramax Film Corp, Sam Urdank
Ben Aneck stars as Dean, left, and Jason Bateman stars as Joel, in
