Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 66
ESCAPE Weekly
June 26 - July 2, 2009 – 16
Who makes holidays?
And shouldn’t somebody stop them?
M
on the city of Santa Clarita calendar.
y calendar says that Sunday,
June 28 is Paul Bunyan Day.
However, I submit that, since Paul
Seriously.
Bunyan was a lumberjack, and lumber
You know, legendary oversize
is crucial to the manufacture of paper,
lumberjack, gigantic blue ox, cleared
and paper is vital to a newspaper — The
entire states of trees, dug the Great
Signal should officially recognize Paul
Lakes, yadda, yadda. Big guy, big deeds, Bunyan Day. Since it falls on a Sunday,
got a holiday.
I’ll take Monday off with
But my calendar doesn’t
pay, thank you.
But it makes you
specify where it’s Paul
wonder. Who decides a
Bunyan Day. For sure it
holiday is a holiday?
is in South Lyon, Mich. I
Well, for federal holidays
know for a fact the Lyon
that would be the United
Township Public Library
States Congress or the
is celebrating the day.
President of the United
Of course, the library is
Jim
Walker
States. They, however, seem
celebrating by being closed
Don’t Take Me Seriously to be balking at setting
— but it is nonetheless
aside Paul Bunyan Day.
celebrating. Everyone will
This is probably because of pressure from
probably be out chopping down trees.
representatives of desert states, who want
My calendar doesn’t specify the
holiday is confined to any lumberjacking Cactus Jim Day or some such, instead.
So how did June 28 become Paul
town — or even any heavily-forested
Bunyan Day? Maybe the same way it
state. It just says it’s Paul Bunyan Day.
became National Tapioca Day, which is
So it follows that, since my calendar is
a fact that isn’t shown on my calendar.
right here with me, we should observe
June 28 is also the day for The Great
the holiday this Sunday in the SCV.
American Backyard Campout, and
Who knew? Who had time to plan a
Insurance Awareness Day. While the
celebration?
Maybe we could have a tree-chopping former seems like it could cohabitate
competition along Wiley Canyon Road. with Paul Bunyan Day, the latter smells
like fish — especially when you learn
But hold off on that. I’ll check with the
that, on Insurance Awareness Day,
city first. I don’t see Paul Bunyan Day
s Lingerie s Greeting Cards
s Adult Toys
s Bachelor & Bachelorette Gifts
www.funzonegifts.com
3OLEDAD #YN 2D #ANYON #OUNTRY s
.ORDHOFF 3T .ORTH (ILLS s
Metro Creative Connection
Paul Bunyan and Babe, his ox. Sunday, June 28 is Paul Bunyan Day. How will you celebrate the occasion?
insurance salespeople are statistically
more likely to call with policy pitches
than any other day of the year.
Hmmmmn.
So who makes these wacky
holidays? The answer seems to be just
about anybody.
For example, June 28 is also Lend
Me an Ear Day. While you might think
the day was intended to promote some
lofty cause such as body part donation
or hearing aids, it is actually set up to
encourage “good listening,” in relation
to Marc Antony’s line in “Julius Caesar”:
“Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend
me your ears.” Who thought this holiday
up, the National Coalition of Frustrated
Summer Stock Actors?
And you realize just how loose this
holiday-designation thing is when you
find out that June 28 was selected for
the day in honor of June 28, 1997, when
Mike Tyson bit a chunk off Evander
Holyfield’s ear. I kid you not. Somebody
is messing with us.
Taking it to the ridiculous, June 28
is also Go Barefoot Around the House
Day and Try to Find a Pear Sherbet
Recipe Day. Oh come on! It’s beginning
to look like five people in a room
agreeing on a holiday makes it a holiday.
On the other hand, if you really want
to make it big, holiday-creation-wise,
you’ve got to get a calendar-maker on
your team or (ding dong, idea!) go viral
on the Internet. Now I’m not inciting
anyone to do anything here, but you
keyboard jockeys out there have the
know-how. I would kind of like to see one
more holiday added to the June 28 list.
We could call it National Anti-Holiday...
Day. How about it? Are you with me?
