Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 64
ESCAPE Weekly
May 29 - June 4, 2009 – 16
Take a bite from ‘The Apple Tree’
Musical on stage at Hart High auditorium
A
three-act musical comedy, “The
Apple Tree” will be presented
7:30 p.m. today and Saturday and
7 p.m. Sunday in the Hart High School
Auditorium, 24825 North Newhall Ave.,
Newhall. “The Apple Tree” is directed by
Gail Hart and Ryan Viramontes. Tickets
are available at the door.
Each act of “The Apple Tree” features
its own distinct storyline and characters;
however, they are wound together by
a common theme — the relationship
between men and women. The first act
is based on Mark Twain’s “The Diary of
Adam and Eve,” a humorous look at the
beginning of mankind. The second act is
based on Frank R. Stockton’s “The Lady
or The Tiger?” — a story set in a semi-
barbaric kingdom where the Princess is
forced to make a decision deciding the fate
of her forbidden lover.
Finally, the third act is based on Jules
Feiffer’s “Passionella,” which is a comedic
take on the classic Cinderella story — just
remove the stepsisters, the pumpkin and
the slipper — and Passionella is ready to
grace the movie screen.
The original production of “The Apple
Tree,” written by the same authors as
“Fiddler on the Roof,” opened on Broadway
in 1996 and received a Tony Award for “Best
Actress in a Musical” as well as five other
nominations. In 2006, a full-scale revival
of the musical was produced off-Broadway,
starring Kristen Chenoweth (of “Wicked”)
that ran for several months.
Walker
If it seems like a really good idea
to pass one of these little bile-buckets
onto me, wait a day and think about
it. Just because we are friends doesn’t
mean I share your political views and
want to read extremist booya from
either the far right or left. And, you,
my amigo on the right, remember that
you were a crazed liberal when you
were young. Watching you get cranky
and conservative as your arteries
harden only makes me sad.
And then there are the forwards
containing doctored photos. They can
be pretty funny. Who doesn’t enjoy
Continued from page 5
all come on the same day (they usually
do). But lately I can’t even view most
of them unless I register at the “Good
News” site.
This I will not do, so these are totally
wasted on me. Got it Mom?
Ladies and gentlemen, I propose
we all start paring back, or fasting,
as it were, when it comes to forwards
— especially those forwards grinding
an ax.
s Lingerie s Greeting Cards
s Adult Toys
s Bachelor & Bachelorette Gifts
www.funzonegifts.com
3OLEDAD #YN 2D #ANYON #OUNTRY s
.ORDHOFF 3T .ORTH (ILLS s
William Smith / Courtesy photo
Daniel Botello (as the Snake) and Madison Wood (as Eve) in “The Apple Tree” at Hart High auditorium.
seeing a hamster playing golf or a
rabbit dressed as a terrorist, complete
with crossed ammo belts and mini
AK-47.
But the doctored photos that you
send me, believing they are authentic
— please. The great white shark
attacking the diver on the helicopter
ladder? Oh come on now! Nobody
could possibly believe that is real.
You forwarding that to me only
makes me doubt your judgment. I
mean, I’ve seen better hokum on the
cover of the Enquirer.
Finally, we come to video forwards.
These can be great. Watching stupid
guys busting their crotches during
stupid stunts never gets old. And the
dog that wakes up and runs into a
wall? Loved it! Also, with all apologies
to the parenting police, I really liked
the toddler screaming about getting
her “drink on.”
But there are a bazillion funny
videos available on the Internet. I
cannot view them all. If you come
across one that puts you in Nirvana,
send me a link to it, but pitch me first.
You know, with something like “I had
a gun to my head when I opened this.
It was so funny it saved my life and
I’ve joined the Peace Corps to help
spread joy around the world.” That
might encourage me to view it.
But beware if it isn’t that funny.
I will hunt you down — or at least
bombard you with bad video links
in retribution.
And do not send me the video as
an attachment if it is long. In fact, do
not even point me toward an overly
long video. If my computer can’t
chew on it, if it hasn’t shown up and
hooked me in 15 seconds, I will skip
it — and I will hunt you down for
wasting my time.
Lastly, remember, one guy can
only take so much Good News. The
thought-for-the-day you send me with
so much love, intending it to light up
my life — may, in fact, just tick me
off if it bulges out of my overstuffed
in-box. Keep it brief and keep it rare.
It will mean more that way.
Let’s all consider a forward fast.
Are ya listening Ma?
Probably not. Maybe I should
forward this to her.
