Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 41
went by, everything, and I mean everything, became clichéd. And if you wrote her a poem
now, she’d bust out laughing and look for the hidden cameras.
Well, the season of guilt is here again. They say insanity is to keep doing the same thing
you’ve always done and expect a different outcome. But that’s what you’ll do, and so you
start the Valentine’s Dance once more. Let’s take it from several weeks before VD, though
you are already well into it this year, mon frere.
The music for this dance would, appropriately, be the theme from “Jaws,” with the far-off
horns, followed by the slow bah-rump beat, speeding up as the danger gets closer, reaching
crescendo on Feb. 14—then drifting away after the carnage.
Weeks One through Three,
Side-step: The side-step is the
predominant step in the
Valentine’s Dance. It can be
used at any point, except that is,
at the finish. During these first
weeks after New Year’s, you
blithely ignore the gaudy red
displays and television ads. It’s
early January. Who are they
kidding? But the increasing
tightness in your chest by the
end of week three tells you the
step needs to change. The bahrump, bah-rump, bah-rump of
the music is slow, but coming closer.
Week Four, False-step: You swear that this week you will think about sometime, maybe,
looking into V-day gifts. Maybe an online search will help you get focused. But, when you
finally do type in “Valentine’s Day gifts” in the search window, the barrage of oh-so-wrong
items saps your remaining energy. When you find yourself considering the Angelina Jolie
replica blood vial on a necklace (you fill ’em), you give up and go to bed.
It’s still January. You know you’ve got time. Right? Bah-rump, bah-rump, bah-rump.
