Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 39
The Dreaded Valentine’s Day Dance
Here comes your VD again.
By Jim Walker
Originally published ahead of Valentines Day 2008 in Escape
(No PDF was saved, so new layout here.)
I
gnoring the Super Bowl this
weekend, I have a duty of
conscience, nay, a humanitarian
obligation, to shake you boys out of
your nacho trays and put the red
fear in your hearts while there may
still be time.
February 14 is coming fast.
I am reminded of this by the popups
on my phone featuring such things as The Formula of Love (which appears to be creating
jewelry through chemistry) and A Bite of Love (which looks like it’s about cookies, but is
actually just porn … so, well, clear your cookies often).
Anyway … as everyone knows, guys hate Valentine’s Day. However, as you also know,
within days after the new year begins, the stores throw up their Valentine displays—big,
bright-red, and threatening.
But you look away.
And even with that dreaded holiday still a month or so away, the television assaults your
eyes with images of assembly-line necklaces and perfume that every woman simply must
have to prove she is unique.
