Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 260
“Is it better One … or better Two?”
Get a fresh perspective
f you’ve ever had your eyes examined, you are
familiar with your eye doctor asking you, as
he click-clicks those little lenses in front of your
eyes, distorting or sharpening letters illuminated on the wall, “Is it better One … or Two?”
(pause, click-click again) “One … or Two?”
Now, as the choices begin, they are usually
pretty clear-cut. You answer quickly, “One …
One … Two … One,” etc.
But, as the doc runs out of ideas on how to
correct for your unusual Martian astigmatism,
the choices become far less clear. “One” looks
like “Two,” except that “One” is skinnier
and “Two” is shorter, and neither choice is as
breathtaking as you would like it to be.
So you say something like, “Ahhhh,
maaaybe, Twoo?”
The doc then spins the wheels around a
bunch and, unbeknownst to you, comes right
back to the same choice you just waffled on.
Only this time your mind has got to working,
and you have a fresh perspective. “One” has
taken on a kind of satanic shadow, and “Two”
I
Jim Walker
Don’t Take Me Seriously
reminds you of your fifth grade teacher …. So
you sigh, and resign yourself to the lesser of
two evils, which is “One.”
And you are stuck with that distorted take
on the world for a year, or 12, until you get
your eyes (or your head) examined again.
And, yes, I use this eye-thing as a metaphor
for life choices.
When you start out in life, the choices are
clear, as are the early stage selections during
the eye exam. For example, as a kid, choosing
broccoli vs. peas was easy. It was always peas.
And when confronted by a slide into second
base, your choice was clearly “Yes,” if you were
on a manicured baseball diamond, and clearly
“No,” if you were playing on asphalt. You
learned from Idiot Eddy’s “Yes” on asphalt.
He, of course, went into politics … when he
eventually limped into adulthood.
Likewise, as a youth, when confronted by
playing in said baseball game, or doing your
homework, you always chose the game,
because baseball was “now” and grades were
“later.”
Really nothing to discuss.
Then, in your 20s, choices got a little less
clear – though “now” still ruled over “later”
in the romance arena … even if “now” had a
big witchy-haired mole on her chin that kept
staring at you. You just shut your eyes, right?
In your 20s, career choices were still pretty
clear-cut as well. You always chose directions
that offered excitement and prestige, such as
Yeti Tracker, over those that offered immediate income and lifelong security, such as
Yugo Salesman.
These days, however, in “maturity,” your
choices are tempered by reality, experience and
hard-won common sense.
In other words, you are too frightened to
make a move.
The overhead of home ownership and
family obligations, a struggling economy and
impending decrepitude have you twitching
and dodging shadows. And the dangerous
knife-edge of a “Better One … or better
Two?” choice is enough to send you screaming
over the hill – even for something so mundane as gloss vs. semi-gloss paint.
Oh where is the Great Eye Doc of Life
when you need him? He could spin your terrified visions around full circle and have you
seeing things differently, with a perspective
that’s fresh … even if you ain’t.
I say, spin them yourselves, my friends.
Click-click, click-click.
Whether you must decide between early
retirement, so that you can finally take up
Riverdance (albeit on a diet of Kraft mac and
cheese), or working a few more years so that
you can pay off those pesky student loans and
still be buried in a Cadillac, spin the wheels
and take a different look. And don’t listen to
those ne’er-do-wells who expect an inheritance from you.
Choose fearlessly. And, remember: “Lifelong” isn’t so long anymore. You’re approaching a time when broccoli vs. peas will again be
the biggest decision on your plate.
Comment at jwalker@signalscv.com or at
http://Twitter.com/DontSeriously.
Video Link of the Week:
Amazing “backward walk”
s the write-up describes it, this
video is mesmerizing – and
impressive in that it was done in one
take. Assisted by multiple friends,
Messe Kopp covers a few
blocks, performs stunts
and completely changes
his look – “cleaning” up
things along the way.
A
http://bit.ly/118es8j
14 | >>
WWW.CONNECTSCV.COM • MARCH 27 - APRIL 2, 2013
