Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 253
Killer fish tacos
“Killer fish tacos”
English, gently folded and seasoned
J
ust the other day, I overheard a young
colleague mention “killer fish tacos.”
Now, anyone who has a familiarity with
current American stylings of English would
have no trouble understanding that she was
describing extremely delicious tacos that had
Jim Walker
Don’t Take Me Seriously
fish as the primary ingredient in them. But it
occurred to me that someone without such
familiarity – someone struggling to learn
English, for example – might have a problem
with this word sequence. I mean, this person
might envision tacos where the primary
ingredient was “killerfish” – which could be
a label such as “needlefish,” “guitarfish” or
“monkfish,” which, in themselves, are confusing – or “killer fish” could be generic for
any fish noted for its killing ability, such as
the shark or piranha. These could have been
shark tacos, with no indication offered for
how tasty they were. And, if they had been
shark tacos, they could have been delicious
and been called “killer shark tacos,” so that
wouldn’t help.
And, flipping the flavor judgment on its
head, our Ameri-slang virgin might unknowingly assume that the “killer fish tacos” could
kill you, like maybe the fish was poisonous
Fugu, or just really, really old fish.
Taking pity on our English language learner, here, we should understand that many
experts rate English as the hardest language
to learn if your first language isn’t in the Germanic language group. English is the most
confusing language because of all the words
that sound the same and all the words that
have multiple meanings, such as their, they’re
and there – not to mention that nearly every
“rule” for English has exceptions.
And when you add in slang and the
continuously evolving vocabulary, you’ve got
words that should be negative, such as “killer,” now being used as positive adjectives,
and words with opposite meanings indicating the same thing when used in a phrase,
such as “fat chance” and “slim chance.” Then
you’ve got noses that “run” and feet that
“smell” – and something that is “hot” can be
really “cool,” or it can be stolen.
Oh the horrors.
But with or without the added confusion
of slang, consider these spellings that are
the same, yet the words mean very different
things, depending on their pronunciation:
“The bandage was wound around
the wound.”
“The farm was used to produce produce.”
“The dump was so full that it had to
refuse more refuse.”
“We must polish the Polish furniture.”
14 | >>
“The wind was too strong to wind the sail.”
“The soldier decided to desert his dessert
in the desert.”
“Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed
a tear.”
“Since there is no time like the present, he
thought it was time to present the present.”
“I had to subject the subject to a series
of tests.”
“A bass was painted on the head of a
bass drum.”
“How can I intimate this to my most
intimate friend?”
“When shot at, the dove dove into
the bushes.”
“I spent last evening evening out a pile
of dirt.”
“I did not object to the object.”
And, finally, just for fun, know …
You can feel up to something, which
means you can probably handle it, or you
can feel up someone, which means you
probably shouldn’t handle it.
Comment at jwalker@signalscv.com or at
http://Twitter.com/DontSeriously.
“The insurance was invalid for the invalid.”
“There was a row among the oarsmen
about how to row.”
“They were too close to the door to close it.”
ome people will spend an inordinate amount of time creating
contraptions and games that then provide the rest of us with a few
moments of lighthearted entertainment – and we thank them for their
efforts. Here are 18-such, and your editor’s favorites are the horse-trot sound
effects for your bicycle (employing a coconut-clapper), flying lawnmower
and jetpack costume. Not so much the toilet-themed restaurant.
WWW.CONNECTSCV.COM • FEB. 6 -12, 2013
“To help with planting, the farmer taught his
sow to sow.”
“After a number of Novocain injections,
my jaw got number.”
18 Things that Actually Exist
http://bit.ly/VzdhNc
“A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a
sewer line.”
“He could lead if he would get the lead out.”
Video Link of the Week:
S
“The buck does funny things when the does
are present.”
