Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 250
Caution tape for your life
An early warning is much appreciated
A
s you have learned, I’m sure, I often
view seemingly minor events in a
“cosmic” sense. Such was the case on Jan. 2,
when, as I stepped out my front door on the
way to work in the morning, I found myself
confronted by a barrier of yellow caution tape
– such as might be found around a crime
scene. The interesting thing, however, was
that I was inside the tape barrier.
Well, the first thing that came to mind was
“Huh?” and the second was “Uh-oh, they’ve
found out about my ‘chemistry’ experiments
with Sudafed.”
But then I remembered I’d never done that,
as far as you know, and so my third thought
became a little more down to earth and
happy, “Oh, bummer. I can’t cross that tape. I
guess I’ll just have to stay home from work.”
But I couldn’t let that stop me from entertaining my readers, so I went deeper, and the
next vision that came to mind was from the
movie “Ghost.” Was I, like Patrick Swayze,
now viewing the scene of my own murder?
And, if so, why did I bother showering a few
minutes before?
But I looked around, and I didn’t find my
own body nearby. I also didn’t find Demi
Moore mourning me, so I let that vision slide
away.
Already plunged into the depths of the
philosophical, with my cosmic kicking hard,
I then looked at that yellow tape through my
third eye.
“What message is the universe sending me
here?”
But my trance was broken by the workmen
up on the roof. Apparently, they were fixing a
leak or something, and the tape was marking
off an area where something heavy could fall
on my head. (Why those sadistic gentlemen
would want to keep me penned in that dangerous area is another story.)
So, I ducked under the tape and broke free
of their evil plot.
Even so, my mind returned to the higher
consideration: “What if those workers were
only pawns in the universe’s game – and that
yellow caution tape was really intended to
warn me about something? What could it
be?” (And don’t get ahead of me.)
Was there danger out there awaiting me
this day? Should I, indeed, not pass beyond
the tape?
“Well, too late for that,” I decided. “Set the
ball rolling. Let’s face this head-on. Come on
peril, take your best shot.” (And, yes, I am
really bold in Jimmy World.)
Even so, I drove a little more carefully to
work that morning.
Now, as far as I know, nothing horrible
has happened to me since Jan. 2, though it
could just be building slowly. And so, I
return to my reverie about the universe’s
intended message.
Of course, those of you out there who
know me, even a little bit, are saying, “Duh,
Jim. The message is that your whole lifestyle
is a caution, and the tape barrier was intended to say ‘Stop it now!’” And those of you
who really know me are, instead, wondering
why the universee
is still botheringg
to send me
warnings as,
apparently,
I will not pay
attention.
“Go fish,” I say. “I
own in
make going down
flames an art form.”
How-ev-err … being
that making it past Dec.
21 puts us all in a new age
of enlightenment … and being
that I’m running out of the energy and good
health to pursue my usual endeavors … well,
I will submit to considering, sometime soon,
following a slightly different path.
They say that those who can’t, teach, so
maybe I will pursue a career as a life coach,
or get my online ministry degree. Though I
already know one gentleman known by his
friends as “The Sinister Minister,” maybe he
and I can start our own franchise.
Anyway, I salvage some good from this
whole event by asking you this question: If
you found yourself behind the tape, what
message would the universe be sending you?
Let’s all listen-up, my friends.
Comment at jwalker@signalscv.com or at
http://Twitter.com/DontSeriously.
Jim Walker
Don’t Take Me Seriously
Video Link of the Week:
How NOT to rescue people from icy water
F
http://bit.ly/VyqwMZ
irst of all, know that no one drowned or froze to death in this
lengthy comedy of errors on ice. But it illustrates what can happen
when people don’t know what they are doing … and it’s just plain funny
to watch. My favorite parts are the people who randomly fall down in
the background – and the skin-to-skin brotherly love at the end, which
is said by some to be a great way to warm someone up – or start a
serious relationship.
JAN. 9 - 15, 2013 • WWW.CONNECTSCV.COM
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