Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 243
Surfing brainwaves
Can you really find The Force within you?
t has come to my attention that there is
a very unique toy helicopter out there. It
seems you can control it with brainwaves.
I kid you not, and the PR puts it thusly:
“The Orbit (helicopter) comes
equipped with an advanced NeuroSky
electroencephalography (EEG) headset,
capable of reading electrical activity along
the scalp. When the user concentrates, the
helicopter will rise in the air, and when the
user mentally relaxes, the helicopter will
return to the ground.”
Now, I know what you’re thinking. If
this type of mind control really worked,
there would be no need for Viagra, right?
But, putting that aside, holding back
our natural skepticism, and assuming that
making a toy chopper rise or descend is the
best someone’s brainwaves can accomplish
so far – it still opens limitless vistas of hope
I
Jim Walker
Don’t Take Me Seriously
for the future.
I mean, remember Luke Skywalker when
he first tried to harness The Force to battle
that little flying laser robot? It zapped him
good before he got his mind right. Maybe
that falls under the “fast-learn” setting with
the toy helicopter. On this setting it singes
you with laser strikes until you can make
it stop – or at least turn it around to harass
the cat. It’s kind of the Rosetta Stone of
telekinesis. No mind wandering here. Get
it right or get burned.
And we all know that, from such
humble beginnings as battling the zapping
bot, Luke learned to harness The Force to
accomplish much greater feats.
Sure “Star Wars” is fiction. But just a few
years ago, a mind-controlled toy would
have also been considered fiction.
Now, most of us have realized the
“magic” that arises from hard practice at
such things as typing, learning to play a
musical instrument, learning a foreign
language or sculpting earwax. At the
outset, the task seems impossible. In the
end, it seems to flow from you like The
Force, with no conscious effort. I figure it
would be the same with mentally moving
objects. What’s missing, apparently, is
the method to transmit your thoughts to
the object in question. And, that’s where
the EEG headset comes in. Think of it as
“training wheels for telekinesis.” It allows
you to practice the “feel” of controlling
distant objects. But with a little work on
this muscle, maybe, eventually, you won’t
need a transmitter at all – or a trick spoon.
Comment at jwalker@signalscv.com or at
http://Twitter.com/DontSeriously.
In celebration of celebrating
This week’s weird holidays
Dec. 12 National Ding-a-Ling Day:
A day when everyone acts odd – so you
fit right in.
Dec. 13 Pick a Pathologist Pal Day:
No, not a Pathological Pal – you already
have Ivan.
Dec. 14 National Bouillabaisse Day:
Bouillabaisse is a fish stew, believed to
have originated in Marseilles. Too bad it
didn’t stay there.
Dec. 15 Cat Herder’s Day: In
celebration of all tasks that are hopeless
from the get-go.
Cat Herder’s Day
16 | >>
WWW.CONNECTSCV.COM • DEC. 12 - 18, 2012
Dec. 16
Stupid Toy Day:
In celebration
of the Furby,
and the Mozart
Action Figure.
Dec. 17 Underdog Day: Finally,
a day just for you – and the Chicago
Cubs, Oakland Raiders, Oberlin
Yeomen … and France.
Dec. 18 Flake Appreciation Day:
Scratch your scalp vigorously and enjoy
the show.
