Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 238
The rhythms of recognition
Properly placed pauses prevail
here are many things in our culture
that we are used to hearing in a certain
rhythm. When we hear them uttered in that
rhythm, we grasp the message easily. But
when we hear them uttered out of rhythm,
our brain synapses misfire and make random
connections.
Take, for instance, phone numbers. We
almost always write them down in the pattern
of area code, followed by prefix, followed by
the last four digits. Thus, The Signal’s main
line, written or typed, becomes 661-2591000. And when we tell someone what our
phone number is, we follow this same pattern:
661, pause, 259, pause, 1000 – and here you
get the added benefit of being able to say “one
thousand” to cover the last four digits.
But there are those of you out there
who do not follow this verbal convention.
Whether you are passive-aggressive or just
plain oblivious to society’s norms, you
verbally offer-up your numbers with pauses
in odd places, such as 6612, pause, 5910,
pause, 00. Hearing such, there is absolutely
no way one can grasp the number without
a rewind. Even seeing it written that way is
confusing — 6612-5910-00 – and makes you
think you will be calling France when you
dial it.
Such proper pause-ation is just
as important elsewhere in spoken
communication. In fact, the improper
placement of pauses can render speech nearly
unintelligible. Consider this simple sentence:
“Bob has gone to the grocery store.” With
improper pauses it could sound like “Babas
T
Jim Walker
Don’t Take Me Seriously
gun tooth hagrow cerystore” and convince
people the speaker is from Canada.
When I was a child, a friend of the family
taught me this lesson, with the added twist
of placing words in a non-typical order, say,
like the Spanish folk do. You know what I
mean. In English, we say “I live in a green
house.” The Spanish order is to say “I live in
a house green.”
Here are the lines my friend Art taught me
way back when, with the pauses in the correct
places, but the word order a little foreign: “In
pine, tar is. In oak, none is. In mud, eels are.
In clay, none are.” It’s a little funky, but you
can gather there is tar in pine and no tar in
oak, and that you might find eels in mud, but
not in clay. And never mind whether any of
this is true.
Now, we take those lines and rush some
of the words together and we get what
sounds like: “En pinetarez, en oaknunnez,
en medelzar, enclay nunnar,” and we are
immediately transported to Marrakesh.
I guarantee if you offer up these lines to
anyone in this manner they will respond like
Scooby Doo – “Aaarug?”
“It’s simple English,” you then chide them,
and repeat the lines, slower and slower each
time, until they get it – whereupon they kick
you in the shins and grumble, “Mother told
me not to marry you.”
Even simple phrases take on whole new
meanings when things are run together
and, especially, when parts are left out. Jeff
Foxworthy has turned this into an art with
his “Redneck Dictionary.”
Video Link of the Week:
Kung fu toddler battles stuffed dragon
http://bit.ly/Ud9TKh
6 | >>
Just in case you missed this on the television news ….
Now, there is no way you believe this action, but the editing is so good and
the execution of the “story” so funny, we had to bring it to you. In this video
a toddler has a kung fu battle with a stuffed dragon. Titled Dragon Baby,
at this writing (Nov. 5), the video had attracted nearly four million hits since
it was first uploaded on Nov. 2. Dragon Baby is the younger brother to
Internet sensation Iron Baby, which claimed 13.5 million views on YouTube.
You can see them both at this link.
WWW.CONNECTSCV.COM • NOV. 7 - 13, 2012
“Wassat? ... 6612-5910-what the?”
Annuity: “I couldn’t hear him, but annuity
was sayin.’”
Asparagus: “I got a flat, so I’m gonna have
to put on asparagus.”
Beetle: “How long do you think it’s gonna
beetle they figure out we’re gone?”
Omelet: “If you apologize, omelet you
outta here alive.”
Onus: “We just work here. He don’t onus.”
Oppose: “Let’s climb oppose trees.”
Pasture: “Hey Charla, we’re drivin’ right
pasture house.”
Persona: “If you leave your persona table,
you’re just askin’ for trouble.”
Righteous: “Drive about a mile and then
make a righteous past the church.”
People, let’s pause for the cause.
Comment at jwalker@the-signal.com or at
http://Twitter.com/DontSeriously.
