Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 237
Flying squirrels and nothin’ left to lose
A second chance to feel invincible
s Janis Joplin sang so long ago,
“Freedom's just another word for
nothin' left to lose” – and nothin’ left
to lose is a very empowering thing, my
friends. This was brought home to me
this past Sunday, when we had a small
earthquake, centered right here in Newhall.
While the truth is that I slept through this
one, it could have been a huge shaker that
woke me up and all I would have done is
put another pillow over my head and gone
back to sleep. With apologies to those
I rent a room from, I really don’t care if
the whole building comes crashing down
around me.
A
Jim Walker
Don’t Take Me Seriously
Not my problem.
And my stuff that could be lost or
damaged in this action? Pffft, I pay it no
mind. I was forced to get renters insurance
for a whopping $1,000 max replacement
value, and this would cover everything I own
twice over and probably get me better stuff.
Nothin’ left to lose.
Now understand, my kids are grown and
fully responsible for themselves, I pay my
rent on time, I don’t drive inebriated, and I
work hard at what I do. Beyond that I owe
nobody nothin’, I ask no one’s permission
and I take no prisoners.
And if I could afford it, I’d take up that
wing suit-flying thing, where the guys
jump off cliffs and soar out like flying
squirrels.
Invincible.
Or, if not, who cares?
This is my second opportunity to feel
this way, mes amis.
The first was when I was a youth. We
all know the young automatically feel
invincible, and I used to love the rocking
motions of earthquakes. They were like
free roller coaster rides.
It was only home ownership that taught
me fear.
And I have put that aside as unnecessary
and restrictive.
So, for fun, let’s take a look at how one
might view events at, say, age 12, 45 and
90, with the understanding that 45 is deep
in the depths of the responsibilities of
parenthood, as well as home ownership,
and 90 is pretty much past caring about
anything – so it comes full circle.
The wrong presidential candidate gets
elected…
Your response at age 12: Can I still
play video games?
Your response at age 45: I’m packing
up the family and moving to Australia!
Your response at age 90: What’s for
dinner?
Home resale values plummet …
12: I didn’t want to move, anyway.
45: I’ll be stuck in this dump until I’m
90 and drop over dead!
90: Heh? Don’t rush me.
Average school test scores plummet …
12: Hey, I’m finally in the top 50
percent!
45: If I could sell this dump, I’d pack
up the kids and move to Australia!
90: Who needs a bunch of smart-assed
kids, anyway. Put ’em in the factories.
Gasoline prices soar…
12: Can I still play video games?
45: There goes the family vacation!
90: I got your gas right here.
The protestant majority isn’t anymore
…
12: Huh?
45: It’s a sure sign of our country’s
moral decline!
Video Link of the Week:
Funny Police Chase
oes anyone remember “Benny Hill”? While this isn’t
the Benster in action, it employs much the same music
and is just as fun. This guy obviously decided to go down
brilliantly, and he made it work – throwing in a few extra
http://tinyurl.com/8paak6u circles for style points.
D
8 | >>
WWW.CONNECTSCV.COM • OCT. 31 - NOV. 6, 2012
90: Who you kidin’? You ain’t been to
church in 20 years.
Extreme turbulence during an airline
flight …
12: Wheehew!
45: I’m gonna sue Southwest!
90: That bus driver must be drunk.
Earthquake …!
12: Wheehew!
45: What do you mean you didn’t pay
the CEA policy?!
90: Wheehew!
I’m just sayin’, freedom’s just another
word for nothin’ left to lose.
Comment at jwalker@the-signal.com or at
http://Twitter.com/DontSeriously.
