Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 216
And now for something
completely different
Jim
T
WALKER
here have been some recent changes at The Signal,
my friends. And, no, I’m not
talking about anything that directly
affects you, the reader.
I’m talking about the kinds of
things that lift staff morale and,
thereby, give us the energy to create a better product for you.
I’m talking about things such as:
moving the candy dispensers to the
other side of the break room, turning the coffee-making machine so
it faces south instead of east, and,
correspondingly, sliding the coffee
pots to a different side of the table.
Whoever thought of this feng
shui fest is an absolute genius.
I mean, when I walked into the
break room on that first morning
after the big moves … well, I felt,
just for a moment, as if I’d stepped
into a Moroccan marketplace.
I was on a sudden and free vacation to a storybook land, where
life held untold adventures and
anything was possible. Orchestras
played Marrakech movie themes
and colors burst forth in surreal
brightness.
Then I went to my desk and all
that sputtered away with a WHAWHA in the soundtrack because,
there, nothing had changed at all.
My bad.
It’s the little tweaks that make
big differences in life, mes amis …
at least in a world screwed down
tightly by recession and afraid of its
own shadow. These small changes stay below our twitch-levels, yet
freshen our days like Febreze.
And, best of all, they are cost-free.
Here are some things you might try:
Staying on the “coffee” theme,
maybe …
Hold your coffee cup with the
“other” hand. It will feel delightful-
DON’T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY
ly different and pump up your offhand noodle-arm at the same time.
Your lips will learn new ways as
well — at least after a few drips on
your shirt.
If you have the choices on
hand, instead of sticking with
straight “Hawaiian blend,” why not
mix in something such as “breakfast” or “vanilla.” It will be a party on your palate, and changing the
percentages in the mix allows you
nearly infinite recipes to spice up
life’s dull days.
If you normally take your coffee with cream and sugar, man up
and force yourself to try it black.
You might give up coffee altogether, or you might find yourself wearing work boots with your business
suit, which is a great conversationstarter.
In other comestible considerations …
When out at a restaurant, eat
your dessert first, entrée second
and salad last. It’s fun to mess with
your waiter’s head, and the saladlast part I hear is very European.
At home, change up where everyone sits at the dinner table. And,
whenever possible, put a “lefty” directly to the right of a “righty.” Silverware fencing is great entertainment, my friends.
Commuters …
When you leave for your commute in the morning, go the “other way” around the block. It will
make you feel more alive, and you
may meet new and friendly people – you know, those you have not,
yet, filled with road rage.
Scents of change …
Mix every type of cologne, aftershave or perfume you have in
one container and wear that “new”
scent as your signature aroma. It’s
guaranteed no one else will have
your particular bouquet, it will
eliminate clutter on your dresser
or in the bathroom cabinet, it will
make you feel like a totally different person and, best of all, it will
make your spouse wonder what
you’re up to.
And more …
Change your computer’s desktop.
Like Yoda speaking, spend a
day.
Wear your tennis shoes on the
opposite feet.
Change the angle on your
steering wheel.
Change your ring tone.
Part your hair on the “strange”
side.
Greet people with a kiss on
both cheeks.
Refer to yourself in the third
person.
Avoid all direct eye contact.
Add a spoonful of sugar … to
everything.
Obey speed limits.
Watch a different morning
news channel.
Plan your day’s driving with
only right turns.
Go commando.
Stop shaving your head and
find out how old you really look.
These are just a few suggestions
to spice up life, my friends. I’m
sure you can think of many more.
So season as needed.
Comment at jwalker@thesignal.com or at http://Twitter.com/
DontSeriously.
