Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 206
Featured commentary
Some very weird ways with words
I
t’s been a very long time since
someone invaded my personal
space so closely during a
conversation that they “got in my
face.” And, while this could be a
personal-hygiene problem on my
part, my conclusion is that there
is simply much less of this noserubbing going on in society in
general these days.
I attribute this to the current
popularity of the head-butt as a
discussion stopper. I mean, these
days, in the movies, if someone
“faces-up,” they often get their
nose broken by a forehead. And the
fear of this obviously carries over
into the real world.
It’s a good thing.
While maintaining personal
space is one of the hallmarks of
good conversational etiquette these
days, there are many others. And
if you study up on the meanings
of arm movements, leg position,
eye contact and, you know,
eyebrow-plucking, you will always
of like meeting a leprechaun,
Jim kind
I guess.
WALKER
DON’T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY
know where your conversational
opponent is coming from —
maybe even before he does.
But there are two conversational
“styles” that I encounter every
great now and then that many days
of googling have not explained.
And if you are afflicted with
either of these, please accept my
condolences, and my apologies for
bringing them up. But I have to
bring them up because, people, you
are freaking me out!
I’m talking about mouth movers
and circling talkers.
Now the former, mouth movers,
I did find a few opinions on,
though no clinical studies and such.
But the latter, circling talkers, it
would seem I am the only one in
the world to have encountered. It’s
Lucky me.
Mouth movers: Have you ever
been speaking to an otherwise
“normal” adult and gradually
began to realize that that person’s
mouth was silently mouthing
the words you were speaking, as
you were speaking them. As this
realization comes over you, you
find yourself getting so distracted
that, unless you look away, you lose
your train of thought.
Now, we aren’t talking about
someone consciously and
sarcastically mimicking you. We’re
talking about someone who is
either unaware they are mouthing
your words or is unable to stop
doing it.
While mouth moving is certainly
one way to get you to stop talking,
in the limited opinions I found on
the subject, it is generally thought
to be an indicator of the opposite
inclination: The mouth mover is
concentrating so hard on your
words that he is reiterating them in
his own mind to process them. And
it is said you should take this as a
compliment — so, I will.
Circling talkers: Nowhere could
I find a single online mention of the
phenomenon of the circling talker.
But perhaps you have encountered
one of these folks.
Say you meet a circling talker
face to face on a sidewalk. Now,
you know this person well enough
to have a long conversation,
and one such begins with you
directly in front of each other.
As the talking progresses, your
circling talker begins to do
just that, shifting inch by inch,
counterclockwise, around you.
You, being the polite sort, naturally
begin to turn to your left so as to
keep facing this person.
Now the circling talker is not
trying to avoid you or to get past
you. That becomes evident if you
keep turning with him, because he
will literally turn you in a complete
circle — and go for another if the
conversation goes on long enough.
Since there is no scientific
answer available that I can find, I
have to draw my own conclusions
here: The circling talker is messing
with your head. He is dominating
you in the conversation by making
you follow his dance lead.
But I have the solution.
Once I realize I am being turned,
I stop turning and hold my ground.
Eventually, as the circling talker
moves out of my peripheral vision
on the left, he loses eye contact
and is forced to come back —
thereby putting me in control.
And if I really want to mess with
him, I start circling in the opposite
direction and make him follow me.
It’s all good fun and good
communication, right?
Next week, drooling for effect.
Comment at jwalker@thesignal.com or at http://Twitter.com/
DontSeriously.
