Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 194
Featured commentary
Just careen into the skid of life
H
ere in Southern California, we don’t get much opportunity to drive in snow,
and so our opportunities to get
into skids are also reduced. Consequently, while we can certainly get into a skid as a result of rainslicked roads, or, you know, just
through our own dumb driving, in
SoCal, skid advice might be better
considered as a metaphor for life
management.
Herein, we use it as such.
According to Edmunds.com,
“Unless you have been trained in
how to respond to a snow- or iceinduced skid, you will invariably
succumb to what the experts call
‘target fixation.’ That is: focusing
on your impending doom instead
of taking proper evasive action.
This will result in a crash.”
Does this sound like your modus operandi in life, my friends?
Also, according to Edmunds.
com, when you find yourself in a
skid, “You have to go against your
natural tendencies. You need to
turn into the skid. And you also
Jim
WALKER
DON’T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY
need to accelerate.”
So, basically, as we are considering it here, this advice means that,
to change your unhappy life circumstances, you must first stop
morbidly focusing on your problems, and, second, go against your
natural tendencies to respond to
problems, which have never served
you well in the past, anyway, and,
third, you need to put the pedal to
the metal in a more constructive
direction.
Let’s look at these actions separately:
Avoid target fixation
When you suddenly realize the
big freight train of life is barreling
down on you, the worst thing you
can do is watch in helpless fascination as it approaches. If you can
keep your wits about you, sometimes all you have to do is step off
the tracks, bro. Acting like a deer
in headlights will only turn you
into venison.
Avoiding target fixation might include doing such things as getting
your resume together the day you
realize your boss is dating your rival — or quietly slipping out of the
house the instant you see your wife
burn her hair with the flat iron.
Now, even worse than helplessly watching doom approach is creating a “self-fulfilling prophecy,”
in which you dwell so hard on the
possibility of something bad happening that you actually cause it to
happen. In this category would be
things, such as accusing your partner of cheating so often that you
drive him or her into the arms of
another — or imagining you have
a brain tumor so hard you pop a
vein under your skull.
Try a new approach
In most cases, the difficulties
and impending dooms of life are a
result of our own actions — selfdefeating actions that may be habitual and almost instinctive,
such as dating beautiful (i.e., selfish) women … or rooting for the
UCLA Bruins football team. Much
better would be to date women
who need a green card, because
they will at least treat you like a
king for awhile … and to root for
the arch-rival Trojans. They win
most of the time, anyway, and, if
they lose, well, you hate ’em, so
’t’sallgood.
Step on the gas
As the song lyrics go:
“If you’re goin’ through hell,
keep on goin’.
“Don’t slow down, if you’re
scared don’t show it.
“You might get out before the
devil even knows you’re there.”
The idea here is that, if you focus on the solution, the way out, so
to speak, and step on the gas, you
just might leave all the crappola
behind you.
For example, instead of playing
the victim, begging and waiting
endlessly for a loan modification,
much better would be to let them
take the old shack and join in the
class-action lawsuit against your
lender later. Besides, you meet the
nicest people on the street, I can
tell you.
And if your column isn’t quite
working … just write faster, pal,
and make a run for it.
And so, for some reason, I leave
you with these well known, positivity-inducing lines:
Watch your thoughts, they
become words.
Watch your words, they become
actions.
Watch your actions, they
become habits.
Watch your habits, they become
your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.
Blah, blah, blah. Destiny is overrated.
Comment at jwalker@thesignal.com or Twitter at http://
Twitter.com/DontSeriously.
