Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 180
Featured commentary
The proliferation of puzzlement
T
hings were so much simpler,
back in the caveman days.
Remember?
Social interactions were so basic
that language of any sort was
unnecessary.
If you were trying to warn your
fellows about a cave bear, you
pantomimed a big-old bear and
pointed toward where he was.
If you wanted something from
someone, say his or her food, tool
or mate, you just took it (assuming
you were bigger than he or she was)
and left them to wail ineffectually.
A smack upside the head with a
rock settled any issue.
However, over the millennia,
the evolvement of good manners,
language and written forms of
communication have tremendously
increased the odds you will be
misunderstood.
Consider language. The spoken
word is rarely precise enough for the
task at hand. In fact, the more words
you use, the more opportunity
there is for error. And, beyond that,
the development of language led
immediately to the development
of lying. So that’s a big black mark
And, currently, the shining
Jim zenith
of the modern opportunity
wrong … is texting. Texting
WALKER tohasgotaken
the inherent errors of
DON’T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY
against it from the start.
Now, writing offered benefits
over speaking, in that writing gave
you time to more closely craft what
you wanted to communicate, and
was locked-in as far as what the
reader saw on the page.
There could be no later waffling
about what was actually “said”
because it was still on the page.
However, writing lacks the
eye contact, facial expressions,
voice inflections and body
language that help enhance spoken
communication.
For example, sarcasm rarely
comes through in the written word.
And you can’t lean in dangerously
for emphasis when you write
threatening letters to the editor.
Email, of course, took writing
backward, in that email is rarely
finely tuned or crafted, merely
popped off as expediency demands.
Confusion reigns supreme.
long-form written communication
and exponentially enhanced them
by abbreviation. And if you add
auto-complete into the mix — well,
you are just begging for trouble.
So, just for fun, let’s take a
look at the increasing confusion
in communication in its various
forms. And here I shamelessly
borrow from the experiences of
others.
Point to be made: “I hate you.”
Nonverbal communication:
Rock to the head.
Spoken word: “My mom’s in
town, so I can’t make your party.”
Texting: “IH8U”
Texting with auto-complete: “I
Hutu”
Point to be made: “I want you.”
Nonverbal communication:
Roofie in drink.
Spoken word: “I really admire
your work.”
Texting: “?^”
Texting with auto-complete:
“Hook up?”
Point to be made: “My hair is
black now.”
Nonverbal communication:
Point to hair emphatically.
Spoken: “I have black hair now.”
Texting: “hv blk hr now”
Texting with auto-complete: “I
have back hair now.”
Point to be made: “Your mom
and I are going to Disneyland next
month.”
Nonverbal communication:
Show Disneyland tickets
Spoken word: “Going to
Disneyland next month.”
Texting: “yr mom n I gng 2 Dis
next mo”
Texting with auto-complete:
“Your mom and I are going to
divorce next month.”
Point to be made: “He’s outside,
riding his bicycle.”
Nonverbal communication:
Pantomime it and point (can be
very funny)
Spoken word: “He’s outside,
riding his bicycle.”
Texting: “hs rdng hs biskl”
Texting with auto-complete:
“He’s riding his bisexual.”
Point to be made: “I have Super
Bowl fever.”
Nonverbal communication:
Heisman Trophy pose
Spoken word: With Heisman
pose, “I gots the feva.”
Texting: “hv spr bwl fvr.”
Texting with auto-complete: “I
have super bowel fever.”
Point to be made: “I’m visiting
my grandparents.”
Nonverbal communication: Point
to your eyes and then act really old.
Spoken word: “Seeing my
grandparents.”
Texting: “Sng mi grndpts
Texting with auto-complete:
“Singed my granny panties.”
Point to be made: “I like mango
salsa.”
Nonverbal communication: If
the salsa is present, grab it and run.
Spoken word: “Dude, I like
mango salsa big time.”
Texting: “I lk mgo slsa bt”
Texting with auto-complete: “I
like manhole sauce, boy toy.”
I’m just sayin’, things are getting
confusing.
Comment at jwalker@thesignal.com or Twitter http://Twitter.
com/DontSeriously.
