Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 135
ESCAPE Weekly
Jan. 28 - Feb. 3, 2011 – 10
The magic of intention
New Year’s resolutions slipping away? It’s much better to be vague
S
o, my friends, we’re stumbling toward February
Last year I decided to pick a motivational word that
and, along about now, your New Year’s resolutions had the ring of positivity, and yet was vague enough
are probably starting to get stuck in the mud.
so that I could spin everything that I did, good or bad,
Though you lost three pounds during the first weeks
under its umbrella.
of January, via the Meals-of-Bark system, you’ve gained
I chose “progress.”
And, thus, I progressed into a larger, lazier, older me,
them back under a barrage of donuts launched at you
with fewer operational brain cells. I progressed through
by jealous coworkers. Your new gym has already called
the judicial system, and out of my home and into a hotel.
in a missing person report on you, and the emergency
’T’sallgood.
brake job on your car has blown your monthly savings
And this year, with a nod toward “The Secret” and
goal out of the water. On the flip side, your piggy bank
such, my word of power is “intention.”
for 25-cent cussing fines has already grown
This one is superb, my friends. Not only
accusingly heavy. So you are inching toward
does it allow you full wiggle room, in
financial security, through profanity.
that you can say you “intended” to do
I, on the other hand, have no guilt going
everything you did during the year, good
on whatsoever.
or bad, but it also allows you to put your
Why?
desires out there into the ether — and let
Because I made no resolutions
the universe do all the work.
whatsoever. And, thus, failure-free, I am
And so, with the full intention of finding
surrounded by the warm glow of “success.”
Jim Walker
all good things coming to me this year, I
You see, a couple years ago I took up
Don’t Take Me Seriously announce my intentions for 2011:
a certain self-improvement technique
1) Win the lotto. While I buy lots of
promoted by those who say they know.
California Lottery tickets every year, this
And that technique is to shun any concrete
year I mean business. Mega Millions or Super Lotto
New Year’s resolutions and, instead, pick an expectant,
Plus, $2 million to $100 million, I’ll take it, as I intend
progressive-type word to sum up your overall intentions
to be flexible.
for the coming year.
2) Triple my paycheck. This certainly would
Two years ago, in an attempt to keep the bar low
become moot under the bounty of #1, but, just in case
for my first outing, I actually chose “failure” as my
all my intentions don’t fully play out, I’ll take this as
empowering word. I found this magnificently easy to
a consolation prize. Or, well, in addition to winning
accomplish, for the most part. And yet, looking back at
the lottery, sure. What is my plan to accomplish this
year’s end, I realized that a couple pesky successes had
proliferation of funds?
still sneaked into my life — and, because of these, my
I don’t need one. I have intention.
year of failure was, well, a failure.
PhotoSpin
You only need to point yourself in a general direction and press “cruise.”
3) Get my columns syndicated. Yup, I’m putting
this in black and white. Maybe this goes along with
#2, which makes things easier on the cosmic rainer
of bounty, but I don’t really care. Not my problem. I
intend, therefore it will be so.
4) Lose weight, get in shape, run the Santa Clarita
Half-Marathon. Blah, Blah, boring, boring, I know.
But for this one, I might even give the universe an assist
— by actually running once in awhile over the next few
months. Or so I intend.
5) Remove more skin moles. I call this hide
landscaping, and it’s the perfect thing to do while
waiting for responses to your cell phone texts, or
responses to your telepathic requests of the laws of
attraction. Do it when you’re not flossing.
Oh, and speaking of flossing, I intend to .... Nah.
That will never happen.
The above are high intentions all, and I’m stickin’ to
’em. Now it’s up to forces greater than me. I’m going to
go watch TV and wait for it all to play out.
jwalker@the-signal.com
Eating Healthy is good for you !
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