Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 133
ESCAPE Weekly
Jan. 14 - 21, 2011 – 15
Dilemma
Continued from page 7
pair — Nick is the engineer, Ronny
the salesman — are under pressure to
produce a working engine. Faced with
the difficult prospect of informing
Nick of his cheating spouse, Ronny
does not want to harm their friendship
or their livelihood.
Filled with blaring music and aerial
shots of Chicago, it’s a set up for a
basic sitcom plot. But it gets more
interesting when Ronny learns that
Walker
Continued from page 6
Auto mechanic, #183: $35K and
-2.00 hiring outlook. I suppose there
might be fewer jobs for mechanics these
days, since you have to practically be a
software engineer to understand auto
systems now. But that $35K salary is
absolute bunk. I gave one mechanic that
much just last week to turn off one of
my check-engine lights.
Actor, #163: $49K and -0.84 hiring
outlook. The low hiring number I get.
But the salary? Must be the average
among those actors who are not
collecting unemployment.
Farmer, #158: $59K and +5.22
hiring outlook. Really? There are more
openings for farmers than reporters?
I thought everything was grown and
harvested by computer now.
Nick, too, has been unfaithful, and
that Geneva’s indiscretions aren’t
without a reason.
Ronny’s detective work proves
a descent into an unhappy side of
married life, where infidelity is
so rife that he reveals his brotherin-law’s cheating completely by
accident. Howard’s light but thorny
examination of marital dysfunction
reaches an apex when Ronny gives a
cynical toast at the 40th anniversary
party of his future in-laws. In
another clever sideways glance,
Howard visually represents Ronny’s
outlandish lies when he claims he
got a bad rash from “street plants.”
It’s a gag that Howard should have
made more consistent.
The trust theme is the best thing
about the film, but the problem with
“The Dilemma” — written by Allan
Loeb (“Wall Street: Money Never
Sleeps”) — is that it seems unsure of
committing to it.
Unfortunately, Ronny and Nick’s
bromance takes over, and James has
neither the comedy chops or wildness
to keep up with Vaughn. Meanwhile,
the talented Connelly is left almost
entirely on the sidelines. Ryder, who
recently reappeared in “Black Swan,”
is excellent and keeps Geneva hard to
pin down.
But sports metaphors proliferate
until “The Dilemma” sinks into them,
finally concluding in a senseless scene
on an NHL hockey rink. It’s a missed
opportunity: If only Howard had kept
his eyes on the puck.
“The Dilemma,” a Warner Bros.
release, is rated PG-13 for mature
thematic elements involving sexual
content. Running time: 110 minutes.
Two stars out of four.
Nuclear decontamination
technician, #151: $37K and +13.63
hiring outlook. Now this one only
makes sense. The hiring is high and the
money low — because none of these
guys survive long enough to earn a full
year’s salary.
Undertaker, #124: $54K and +11.03
hiring outlook. Good money and lots
of jobs available — I wonder why more
people don’t do this. Hmmmm….
Author, #81: $54K and +8.79 hiring
outlook. I know for a fact this is a boldfaced lie. There are no jobs, and no pay,
for authors. They have to move up to
newspaper reporter.
Philosopher, #16: $61K and +8.56
hiring outlook. You have absolutely
got to be kidding me! I know what my
next career is. I mean, great pay and
job openings for philosophers? I would
absolutely love to sit around drinking
coffee and, you know, philosophizing,
all while raking in $61K!
But there are many jobs that were,
somehow, overlooked in the CareerCast.
com results. Even so, my research
shows they rank higher than newspaper
reporter.
Take, for example …
Bodily fluids donor: The problem
here is that, as your income goes up,
your life expectancy goes down. Still,
this one gets very high ratings for its
working environment. Since all you are
doing for “work” is creating new cells,
you can do it anywhere you want!
Medical study subject: The perks
and drawbacks of this career choice are
similar to bodily fluids donor. There
are some big bucks to be made here,
however, and, occasionally, you get a
mostly-positive result. Especially if your
hair was falling out anyway.
And, finally, we have professional
heckler: This is perfectly suited to the
natural-born devil’s advocate, those
inclined toward hostility or those
who can’t attract their own audience.
And I understand many out-ofwork reporters are signing up. I hear
heckling is the “black ops” form of
lobbyism — and, accordingly, garners
high pay from well-heeled special
interest groups.
So, in conclusion people, please steer
your children toward being software
engineers and away from journalism.
They’ll be much happier, you know, for
awhile — and with fewer folks clogging
up the writing trade there will be more
opportunities for those of us already
suffering there.
’T’sallgood.
And if your kids are computerchallenged — well, there’s always
nuclear decontamination technician. It’s
still a better deal than reporter.
jwalker@the-signal.com
Eating Healthy is good for you !
$JOFNB%SJWF 7BMFODJBt tXXXGSFTIXPSLTHSJMMDPN
