Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 109
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The 2010 rap: loan modification and self-mutilation
W
hat, me? Angry?
For those “cutters” out
there, self-flagellators,
people who like to poke toothpicks
in their eyes or those who merely like to punch themselves in the
face and knock out teeth on occasion, I propose an alternative.
It’s one that will leave you with
less visible scarring, but one that
will offer you the satisfaction of repeated and continuing pain, and one
that will, eventually, lead to your annihilation. At least financially.
Want to lose your house slowly
and painfully?
Try to get a home-loan modification.
pain until there
It’s a rollercoaster ride to
is no alternative
oblivion, my
for them but to
friends — with
go under.
the big bank
All this while
at the controls,
the governgrinning like
ment’s relief
the Joker.
funds sit waitDON’T TAKE ME SERIOUSLY
Now the suing and unused.
per-bank inThere are levolved in my current rant will regions of us out here with fingermain nameless here. You know,
tips smoking from getting elec’cause I don’t want us to get sued.
troshocked every time we reach
Besides, from what I’ve heard
for relief. And every time they
and read, every one of the big boys zap us, buildings-full of sadists at
is doing the same thing — ruth800-numbers howl with laughter
lessly stringing along desperate
as they watch us on their in-house
homeowners and laughing at their
version of YouTube.
Jim
WALKER
However, their time is coming.
On the counterattack, I will most
certainly be joining the class-action suit against them that will
most certainly evolve out of this
whole process.
Power to the (homeless) people!
(Here we all exchange smoldering high fives.)
My only satisfaction from all
this is that I didn’t pay someone
to guide me through the process,
just to end up with the same result.
That would have been really
embarrassing.
To hold your interest, my
friends, I must condense this 16-
month saga of sadism, this marathon of madness, into a few short,
painfully sweet knife-cuts. So,
let’s set it to a beat, with the tempo kept by 30-day intervals of resubmission of documents.
Let’s do it as rap, ’cause rap is
angry, and so am I:
“Rappin’ the Deed Away”
You go to work on a good Monday
(Yeah)
feelin’ like a gangsta, ready to
play.
Your financials are current
and your hardship letter, too,
See RAP, A8
