Don't Take Me Seriously - Book - Page 101
ESCAPE Weekly
May 7 - 13, 2010 – 4
Monday is moan day
Statistics show you should avoid Mondays at all costs
S
And, finally, the third definition of “to
o, we all rocked Taste of the Town
moon” was the one that had to do with
Sunday. Great day, great event,
pants, which also works, as that is how
whole lot of fun. And by “we
you want to express yourself to the world
all,” I think I mean at least a few of us.
on a cranky “moon day.”
Or maybe it was just me, and maybe
I would if I had the energy, anyway.
“rocked” is a bit of a reach. I mean, I
Did I mention I was tired? Five cups of
thought I was in golden voice. And today
(Monday as I write this), my voice sounds coffee have barely made a dent.
“Whoa oh, livin’ on a …!” oi.
like that of a rocker on the day after, so I
Now Monday depression often begins
know I really tried.
on Sunday night. In fact, one study shows
But somewhere in screaming out Bon
that worrying about coming
Jovi’s “Whoa oh, livin’ on a
Mondays gives Sunday
prayer!” with all the rest of
nights the highest incidences
you (I hope) I think I burst a
of insomnia. And that pretty
blood vessel in my brain, so
much guarantees a bad day
the whole thing could have
been a dream.
to start the work week.
Nice dream, though.
Still not convinced?
However, as I write this,
Here are some Monday
it is Monday and I am tired.
factoids: Mondays see
I mean, I’m dragging.
more work-related injuries
Jim Walker
But Monday’s are always
Don’t Take Me Seriously than any other day. There
like that. Whether you had
are more heart attacks on
a weekend of partying, yard
Mondays than any other
work or just listening to mood music while day. Some studies show Mondays have
you communicated telepathically with tree the most suicides, while other studies
frogs in Brazil, every Monday is a day to
show that Wednesdays do. But even
“get through.” And don’t tell me it’s my
if more people do themselves in on
job, and don’t tell me it’s my age. Mondays Wednesdays, it’s probably because,
have always felt this way. I will forever need while more people feel like checking out
a weekend to rest up after my weekend.
permanently on a Monday, they are too
Besides, there is a precedent for this.
tired to actually make it happen then.
“Monday” comes from “moon day.”
So what is the answer?
And the first verb definition I found
Obviously, it is to turn Monday into
for “to moon” was “to wander around
the third day of the weekend. (And I’d
in a dreamy or listless state, unable to
propose a name change to something like
concentrate on anything.”
Sansday, as in sans work, or Sanityday.)
Badda-bing. That’s a description of a
Four on, three off is not a revolutionary
Monday if I have ever heard one.
idea, either. Studies have shown
The second definition was “to be
that reducing work hours increases
stricken with longing for an absent loved
consumption (the purchasing kind,
one, and rendered dreamy or listless as a
not the tuberculosis kind), thereby
result.” Since I figure most fall-in-loves
invigorating the economy. Less time at
and breakups happen on weekends, this
work also improves workers’ levels of
also makes sense. Can’t get your mind off education because they have more time
them on Monday.
to take classes. It improves their health by
PhotoSpin
Is this how you feel every Monday morning? It’s time to give Monday, and yourself, a break.
lowering work-related stress and providing
more time for exercise. A shorter week also
saves workers money on day care costs —
and less workday driving around reduces
carbon-related emissions.
Finally, during a shorter work week,
workers can be more productive on a perhour basis, because of improved health,
reduced stress and a better quality of life.
So then let’s drop Mondays and take
raises, too. ’T’sallgood.
And don’t start feeling sorry for
Tuesday, either. No matter what
setting Tuesday up first in the week
brings, it will be 20 percent better
than when it happened to Monday
because you only have to get through
four workdays, not five.
Now, you will be reading this on a
Friday morning, which means you have
probably recharged your batteries since
Monday and already forgotten how
hard it was to get out of bed four days
ago. Today, you are probably looking
forward to something — you know, like
the weekend.
This is why we don’t put out Escape
on Mondays. Nothing will inspire you
on a Monday. But on Friday, it all looks
good, from sky diving to chamber music
with the La Leche League. And you will
probably be in a very receptive mood
today, so I offer you a little chuckle.
Get a “bad Monday” laugh at one
guy’s expense at www.youtube.com/
watch?v=LHUo1HUZIrU.
